Quality family time is important for families to be healthy and happy. I think that most parents get this. We KNOW that quality family time is important for the kids, but when it comes down to actually following through on that idea, parents may struggle with specifics. What exactly is QUALITY time? What activities does it include? How often should it be scheduled?
As you set out to be intentional about putting quality family time on the calendar, here are a few guidelines to help you:
Make it Daily
No matter what you do, try to set aside time each day when you are fully connecting with your child. Let your child choose what they want to do for 10-15 minutes and then put aside all distractions and focus on them. Your goal here is to be all in and give them every ounce of your attention in those moments.
Perhaps it is reading a book together at night before bedtime. Or playing a game or going outside to kick the ball around. The WHAT is not as important as the HOW. How well are you listening, paying attention and interacting with your child?
Play and Be Silly Together
I was not naturally a silly mom, so I had to sometimes choose to be silly. I’m getting a second chance now as a Nana, to be spur-of-the-moment silly, which can include random spontaneous singing, funny voices or “chase-me, Nana!” games.
The deal here is to not worry about rules. Just let loose and have fun with your kids. I truly believe silliness is the secret sauce that makes a family happier.
Read Together
You can start this when they are tiny babies because they love to hear your voice. Keep doing it as they get older; it not only is a good bonding experience, but it can also nourish their own desire to read.
Make Family Traditions
Traditions are one of the best gifts you can give your kids: They help people connect, give a sense of security and stability, impart wisdom and values, and preserve a heritage. The opportunitites for traditions are endless: Christmas, bedtime, birthdays, mornings, mealtimes, celebrations for accomplishments–pick a few and make them yours.
Make Memories
Making memories can come in the form of traditions and it can also come in unplanned moments. Those family trips when something goes wrong and you survive it together as a family. Or those adventures you take together, or even the family game nights. These moments of making memories don’t have to be perfect because families and life aren’t perfect. They are those moments and experiences that you won’t forget and end up laughing about many years later.
What Quality Family Time IS and is NOT
Quality family time is NOT just all being in the house at the same time. It IS actually doing something together when you are all home at the same time.
Quality family time is NOT accidental. Oh, there will be moments when it pops up when you didn’t expect it. But in our busy lives, it’s much more likely that quality family time IS intentional. Plan for it, put it on the calendar and inform everyone in the family that it’s coming.
Quality family time is NOT eating dinner together with everyone on their phones; it IS engaging in conversations over dinner about the day. Whether you use highs and lows or pass around a question box, make the most of the family meals. They can provide a wonderful family connection.
Quality family time is NOT to be used for hard conversations. If you must have heavy talks, do it at another time. Quality family time IS a time to put aside the somber stuff and just enjoy each other.
Quality family time is NOT a duty; it IS a privilege. If your family is together, count yourself as blessed. Not everyone has an in-tact family.
The important thing to remember is that quality family time is more than just eating together or driving the kids to school and games. It’s about fully focusing on your kids without distractions. As Dieter F. Uchtdorf put it: In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time. And I would add: Quality time!
If you are struggling to build connections in your family and would like to establish a play, I’d love to help. Schedule a free intro call here.
