There is a very simple, yet profound secret to raising courageous kids and that secret is based on this fact: Inward character creates courage. When you focus on growing your kids’ character to be strong, a natural by-product is that they will be courageous too. They will stand up for what’s right, try new things, take healthy risks and pursue passions and dreams. They will end up being people that make a difference in this world and people that make a positive impact on others. They will be leaders in their jobs, in their homes and in the community. They will make you proud!
When I say inward character, I’m talking about the traits and virtues you work to daily instill in your children. The problem is that many parents don’t stop to identify exactly what traits and virtues they want to see their child develop. They don’t look down the road and envision what kind of adult they would like their child to become. They live in the moment and for the moment, giving little thought to what they are sowing into their children each day to help them develop strong character that will morph into courageousness.
To get something done, it’s always good to start with a plan. Without planning and preparation, the chances are much slimmer that you will achieve your goals, even if they are worthy ones. If one of your goals is to raise courageous kids, then starting with a plan will get you going in the right direction.
Here’s a plan to help you:
Decide what values or traits you would like to see developed in your child. (If you are a single parent, then you will do this on your own or with the person you co-parent with, if you are married, then please include your spouse.) What values do you want to see them grow up believing in? What virtues (such as compassion, honesty) do you want to see them develop? The process of thinking this through is empowering to parents; it gives you guidelines of where to go in your parenting. It keeps you on the right track in your daily parenting decisions.
Parents who do not aim at a target in their parenting will end up aiming at nothing and hitting it every time.
Display and share these values with your children. Put them on the fridge or on the wall. Discuss with your children what they mean, why you chose them and how to live them out in everyday life. Refer to them often, in casual and in serious conversations. Bring them up as you discipline and guide your children to make good choices. These values should not be a secret to your kids! They should hear about them over and over; that will be the voice in their head as they grow up.
Every time you discipline or have a conflict with your child, use them. Ask yourself whenever you must discipline your children or when battles ensue: what value or trait can my child learn through this experience and how can I best help them to learn it?
That’s it. That’s my 3-step plan. Very simple, but the hard part is being purposeful about setting aside the time to think it through. However, if one of your goals is to raise courageous kids, then focusing on their character growth is the very best way to make them strong. If you are unsure of how to move forward with this, I’m happy to help. Schedule a free intro call here.
