Kids and structure: they need it, don’t they? Parents have been led to believe that kids need structure and consistency and with that in mind, they’ve become hesitant to give their children too much free time. They sign them up for multiple extracurricular activities, sometimes to the point of back to back to back sports, lessons, or classes.

So how much structure does a child really need? Too much can be restrictive or overwhelming, However, little or no structure can leave a child can feeling unsure of what to expect. That can contribute to feelings of insecurity.

So what’s the balance? How much is too much when it comes to planning out your child’s time?

The obvious answer to is avoid over-loading them with activities, but still give them a structure that allows them to learn, grow, and feel secure.

Children need structure because:

• It fosters feelings of safety, predictability and thus security.
• It gives children confidence because they know what to expect.
• It helps them develop self-discipline, good habits, and responsibility.
• It helps them learn to manage their emotions and behavior because they have been given boundaries and consequences.
• It gives them stability in a world that often feels overwhelming and unknown.

Children need free time because:

• It gives them a chance to explore and be creative, using their imagination.
• It helps them learn independence.
• It gives them opportunities to work on their own problem-solving skills.
• It lets them have unstructured play, an essential part of their emotional, cognitive and social growth.
• It teaches them how to manage boredom on their own, without expecting others to entertain them or tell them what to do.
• It gives them a way to learn how to make choices.
• It gives them time to interact with peers and practice communication and conflict resolution.
• It is a time for them to relax and recharge, an important part of their mental and emotional well-being.

How to Strike the Scheduling/Free Time Balance

Choose the areas where it’s beneficial to have routine. Mornings, evenings, bedtime, mealtimes, and schoolwork–establishing routines in these areas helps kids know what to expect and can help things run more smoothly for you. For instance, if your bedtimes are all over the place and you have no set routine, your child may constantly be pushing the plate to stay up later. And if you are wavering on the importance of bedtime consistency, then you may give in over and over, which only leads to your child pushing back more and more.

Schedule important activities. When you set aside time for schoolwork, you are making it a clear priority. When you assign chores to be done regularly, kids learn responsibility and self-discipline.

Allow plenty of time for play, indoors and out. This time should be screen-free. The goal is for your kids to get creative and think up things to do on their own. Outdoor play gives them a chance to exercise and explore. Even little ones can learn from unstructured play time. Your kids do not need to be entertained every minute!

Be flexible. Even with structure, allow for flexibility. Changes in scheduling, unexpected events or cancellations might mean “breaking the rules” a bit. It’s okay; this is not military academy.

Allow time for scheduled and unscheduled time each day. This is a chance for you to really prioritize your child’s time. Do they really need to be in two sports at once? Is it really that important that they have a sports practice and a music lesson on the same day? If your child can do both, as well as get their homework and chores done and STILL have some free or down time, that might be okay. But if they have very little time to relax, have fun, or just “be,” it may be time to adjust schedules and weed out things that are just fillers to keep your kids busy.

Are you struggling to find the scheduled/unscheduled balance? I’m here to help. Schedule a free intro call here.