As your child enters the late elementary years, they are nearing tweenhood and you will have them challenging you more and more as they gain independence. In this season, they may start to act like they don’t need you, but they still need lots of guidance. Here are some helpful parenting tips:
Give Opportunities for Independence While Setting Boundaries
As much as you can, let them make choices with things like clothes, snacks, and hobbies, but with clear boundaries. Encourage them to take responsibility for their homework, chores, and keeping track of their belongings and school supplies.
Stay Academically Involved
Encouraging them to take responsibility for their homework does not mean that you stay totally hands off. Show interest by checking in with them regularly about schoolwork–without hovering. Continue to encourage good reading habits, especially beyond just what’s assigned in school.
Continue Building Social-Emotional Skills
Talk to your 4th-5th graders abouit friendships, peer pressure and feelings. Model empathy and problem-solving and look for those teachable moments to have conversations with your kids about them. Teach and show them how to respectfully handle arguments with siblings and friends.
Establish Healthy Screen Habits
Set screen time limits and discuss online safety. Be sure you know what apps or games they are using–and play or watch with them sometimes. It’s important that you balance screen time with physical activity and offline hobbies.
Teach the Importance of Establishing Good Habits
As much as possible, keep regular sleep, meal, chore, and homework routines. Get them involved in packing lunches, setting alarms or planning their week. Discuss their weekly schedules and encourage physical activity and creative outlets like art, music, or sports.
Keep Working at Good Communication
Your child may still be talkative at this age and if so, make the most of it! Ask them open-ended questions like, “What was the best part of your day?” Listen to them without immediately jumping in with advice and create a judgement free environment so that they will feel comfortable coming to you to talk.
Teach Resilience
Your kids will learn resilience if you step back and sometimes let them fail. That is the only way they will build problem-solving skills. Praise effort and persistence over natural talent or perfection as you help them set realistic goals. Celebrate the small victories they make in their progress.
Know Your Child’s Love Language
If you’ve not yet taken a love language assessment with your child, now is a good time to start. Knowing what really fills their love tank–acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch or gifts–will help you better connect with them. Kids are more likely to respond and cooperate when their love tanks are filled.
Your pre-tweener could be already going through physical changes; girls especially may begin the early stages of puberty. They may have growth spurts, leading to clumsiness or changing energy levels. Your calm guidance and love will give them confidence to maneuver this confusing season of life.
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