A strong-willed child is determined to test the limits of authority in every possible way. Statistics show that 85% of families have at least one strong-willed child. So while you may feel overwhelmed, please know that you are not alone. It’s also important to remember that every strong-willed child is unique. So no one parenting strategy or program can provide all the answers for every child. Basically, it boils down to you as a parent having the strength to hang in there, stay consistent and deal with battles one at a time.
I wish I could give you a sure-fire five step strategy to deal with a strong-willed child, but honestly the best I have for you is two words: CALM and CONSISTENT.
Always stay calm when your child fights you. If you lose your cool too, the conflict escalates and nothing is resolved. Give yourself and your child a few minutes to calm down before disciplining or discussing the issue.
Be consistent with boundaries and consequences you’ve set and discussed with your child. This is one of the hardest parts of parenting. Being consistent means that you follow through even when you’re tired, discouraged, and doubtful. It means saying what you mean and meaning what you say even when it’s inconvenient, exhausting, or seemingly hopeless.
Imprint those two words–CALM and CONSISTENT–on your brain and whisper them to yourself when your strong-willed child tests you. That is really the only thing that is going to get you through the rough seasons of having a child that makes life challenging.
There is a flip side to all of this because strong willed children often have the traits that lead to success and leadership later in life. They are typically smart, confident, and determined. That is why it is so important to channel their strength in the right direction by weaving your core valuies into your discipline.
If you have a strong-willed child, here’s the good news: This phase doesn’t last forever. Your child may argue and complain for years as they grow up, but chances are pretty good that they will eventually mature and adopt their parents’ values as their own. Some may even use their strong-mindedness to withstand peer pressure and it’s entirely possible that your “stubborn” child may become a strong leader in their own generation.
If you are struggling with a strong-willed child, I’d love to help you come up with ways to be calm and consistent. Schedule a free intro call here.
