Consistency is often misunderstood. In the age of “gentle parenting,” being consistent may be seen as being too strict or too harsh. But consistency is one of the best gifts you can give your child.
As a parenting coach, I talk to parents all the time who have set boundaries for their children and may even have determined the consequences for their children’s misbehavior. They want to do the right thing and may have every intention to do so, but they give in for any number of reasons.
Some parent out of their guilt. Their child has gone through a lot, whether it’s trauma or family discord and they tend to give in because they don’t want their child to suffer any more. Some parent out of their fear: fear that their child will hate them or fear that they will hurt the relationship if they stick to the consequences. And still others parent out of fatigue; they have had a hard or long day and just don’t have the energy to follow through.
This lack of consistency becomes one of their biggest obstacles to seeing positive behavior changes in a child.
Perhaps looking at the whole boundary/consequences thing a bit differently would help. In those moments of deciding whether you want to or feel like being consistent, stop to remember the bigger picture and ask yourself, do I love my child enough to be consistent? Are you willing to do what is best for them and not parent out of your feelings at the moment, but rather out of doing what’s best for your child?
Consistency is what’s best for them.
- it promotes a child’s sense of security and trust
- it reduces anxiety and stress
- it develops healthy habits
- it improves behavior and learning
Parents, this is a tough love, a love that sets and sticks to boundaries no matter what. When you fully accept that consistency in boundaries and consequences are a way of loving your child fully, then no matter how you feel in the moment, you will do what it takes to give that tough love to your child.
If you struggle with consistency, let’s talk. Schedule a free intro call here.
