Although parents know that their children need boundaries, many of them may be setting limits for the wrong reason.
Boundaries are not just there so that parents can have their space or their peace.
Boundaries are not just needed so that chores and homework get done.
Boundaries are not in place for the sole purpose of keeping kids safe.
Yes, boundaries do exist to help with all of those scenarios, but the real reason you want your child to learn to live with boundaries has nothing to do with the challenges you are facing today and everything to do with the challenges your child will face tomorrow.
If boundaries are clear, children develop several qualities:
- a well-defined sense of who they are
- a knowledge of what they are responsible for
- the ability to choose
- the understanding that if they choose well, things will go well, and if they choose poorly, they will suffer **
The real reason for boundaries is so that your child will learn self-control, responsibility, and freedom.
The problem is that many parents parent in the present without thinking about the future, dealing only with problems at hand. You may be feeling good if you can make it through an afternoon without wanting to ship your kids off to a relative’s house for a month.
But one goal of parenting is to keep one eye on the future. Your job is not just to survive today, but to raise responsible adults.
If you struggle with knowing how to set boundaries, how to enforce them, and when to relax them, I’d like to invite you to my next webinar on January 7th, 3 pm: Knowing When and How to Set Boundaries for Your Kids
The 45 min. webinar will talk about why kids need boundaries, guidelines for setting them, knowing when to flex them, and give several principles to help parents as they set boundaries for their kids.
If you cannot make it, it will be recorded and I can set it later if you’ve signed up to attend.
Sign up here: Knowing When and How to Set Boundaries for Your Kids.
If you know adults with boundary problems, remember this: they did not develop those problems as grown-ups. They learned those patterns early in life and then continued their out-of-control habits in their adult lives where the stakes are higher.
Your children are not born with boundaries; it’s up to you to help them learn so that they can become happy and responsible adults.
**Boundaries with Kids by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.