How are you doing at handling parenting challenges? Answer each of these 20 questions based on how much you agree with the statement. Scoring and evaluations are at the end. The purpose of this is not to shame you, guilt you or discourage you; it is to encourage you, give you an idea of where you could be stronger, and affirm you if you are already using effective parenting tools.
1
I am apt to step in and help my child when they are in a tough situation, even if they don’t ask for my help.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
2
I find that I often let my child’s emotions determine how I respond to them.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
3
I do not spend as much time with my child each day as I’d like to because I’m so busy.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
4
I feel that my child doesn’t open up to me and talk enough.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
5
There are a lot of things that I don’t know about how my child is thinking.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
6
My spouse and I sometimes fight in front of our kids.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
7
When my child is speaking, I tend to listen while already planning how I am going to answer them.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
8
I miss a lot of my kids’ games and activities because I’m busy with work or other things.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
9
We eat meals together as a family less than 3 times a week.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
10
We haven’t been intentional about establishing core values as a family.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
11
Technology and screen time are the focus of many arguments in our home.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
12
Getting my kids to do their chores is often a hassle in our home and leads to arguments.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
13
I nag and yell way more than I want to, but am not sure how to break the habit.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
14
I don’t know my child’s love language and even if I did, I would not be sure how to speak it to them.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
15
It’s easy for me to make quick assessments of situations regarding my child without getting all the details.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
16
I parent spontaneously, tending to wing it each day.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
17
I find it easy to be really hard on myself when I blow it as a parent.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
18
I feel it’s important to deal with a discipline situation with my child right away, not letting too much time pass.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
19
I am too busy with kids and work and the house to do much for myself.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
20
I know I tend to be over-protective as a parent, but can’t seem to help myself.
- Completely agree
- Somewhat agree
- Neutral
- Somewhat disagree
- Completely disagree
Now, add up your numbers. The total score will reveal how you feel you are doing as a parent.
If you scored 80-100:
You are mostly using effective parenting tools, keep at it! Parenting is sowing and takes patience and time and doing the right things over and over. Stay persistent and you will reap wonderful rewards.
If you scored 60-80:
You are using some effective tools, but may be struggling in some key areas. Pinpoint the areas where you are not using effective tools and devise a plan on implementing more effective ones.
If you scored 40-60:
You are using a lot of tools that are not effective and are probably frustrated with the results. Take some time to evaluate the tools you are using and why they are not working. Do research or get help to determine what tools you can use that will be effective and alleviate some of your frustration.
If you scored 0-40:
Your parenting tools are not bringing the results that you want. You find yourself in a merry-go-round of battles and emotions with your child that you can’t seem to stop. Don’t settle for the status quo, take a step to start making changes. Seek out what effective tools you need to be using in your parenting so that you can get out of the rut you feel you are in.
Your Next Steps
If you cared enough to take this quiz, then I know you care about how you parent. Here are 3 next steps you can take:
- Talk with your spouse or a trusted friend if you are a single parent, and share with them the results of this quiz. Pick one or two specific areas that you want to improve on in your parenting and devise a plan for moving you forward in those areas.
- Hold a family meeting and tell your kids that there are a couple of things you want to do better as a parent. This prepares them for any changes they may see in your parenting approach, and helps them understand that you are working on yourself and growing as a person too.
- Ask for help. Get a mentor, a counselor, or a parent coach who can help you meet your parenting goals. As a parent coach, I’d love to help you move forward and achieve your desired next parenting step.
It’s easy for parents to forget that parenting is a growth process, not just a job you inherit the moment your child enters the world. We grow into our job as parents, so be patient with yourself. At the same time, seek for ways to learn more about yourself and how you can parent more effectively.
If you’d like to use more effective parenting tools, let’s talk. Schedule a free intro call here.