You matter. Your words matter. How you speak to your children matters. How you speak to them will shape who they become. Your attitude, your words–these are the things will determine the type of person your child grows up to be. You are not there just to put food on the table and pay the college bills.
Please remember this very important fact: Children learn what they live.
If a child lives in a critical environment, they learn to be condemning and critical of others. Are you overly critical and always pointing out what your child did wrong, instead of remembering to recognize what they did right?
If a child lives with hostility and tension, they learn to default to fighting. Are you easily angered or irritated? Do you find yourself getting defensive a lot?
If a child lives with ridicule, they learn to be shy and put up walls. Do you resort to making fun of your child as a way of trying to prove your point?
If a child lives in a home where they are shamed, they learn to feel guilt and shame. How often do you find yourself saying, “you ought to be ashamed of yourself!”
On the other hand…
If a child lives with tolerance and acceptance, they learn to be patient. Does your child know that you unconditionally love them?
If a child lives with encouragement, they learn to have confidence. How much do you strive to look for the positive instead of the negative?
If a child lives with praise, they learn to appreciate. How often do you give sincere and specific praise to your child?
If a child lives with security, they learn to have faith. Your child’s sense of security comes from feeling loved, not by the amount of money you have or how big your house is.
If a child lives with approval, they learn to like who they are. Does your child know without a shadow of a doubt that you love them for who they are, not for how they behave or perform?
If a child lives with acceptance, they learn to love and accept others. Does your child think that you are trying to push them to be someone they are not?
Parents have a huge responsibility, one that goes beyond providing and protecting; it includes the shaping of a character. Your child’s soul is in your hands. Just because you have the sexual capacity for reproducing a child does not mean that you automatically become an effective parent.
Parenting is a skill to be learned as much as learning how to work at a new job or how to work out or how to invest in the market. Don’t ever stop learning how you can be better at the most important job in the world.
If you’d like to learn about effective parenting tools, schedule a free intro call here.