Do you ever have moments when keeping calm with your little children seems impossible? Perhaps you find yourself too angry to respond in a loving and calm way to your children. You know that yelling at your kids is not a good solution, but it’s hard not to react in a negative way when your kids push your buttons.
Kids of all ages are good at pushing your buttons. They start when they are little and really don’t have a clue what they are doing and they continue until they are teenagers and are fully aware of how to get a reaction out of you.
When your children are older and you feel yourself starting to lose control, it’s much easier to give yourself a “time-out”, to remove yourself from the situation until you calm down. But what about when your children are very young and you cannot leave them alone while you go get some de-stress time? How do you remain calm without a break when you feel the frustration building and are afraid of an emotional explosion?
Parents of little ones do not have the luxury of removing themselves from their children in order to get an emotional break and allow themselves to calm down. But there are a few tips to help you if you find yourself in the parenting season when your children demand your attention 24/7 and you do not have the ability to remove yourself from a situation in order to calm down.
Turn on music.
Crank up music that will calm you, cheer you up, or draw you into singing with familiar and well-loved lyrics.
Read a book to your child.
Hold them on your lap or snuggle with them on the couch with a good book. Reading the book out loud with get your mind off your frustration and help calm you down.
Just sit down and breathe.
Hold your child on your lap, let them play on the floor in front of you with their toys, or if your child is mobile, take a walk around the house–all the while breathing deeply and slowly. Don’t talk, just breathe.
Repeat a prayer or a mantra.
Choose a prayer or mantra that speaks to your soul and say it over and over. I recently had to do this; I repeated over and over “Give me peace, give me peace, give me peace…” while breathing slowly and deeply.
Text a friend or family member.
Ask for prayer, encouragement or support by texting a friend or family member who you know empathizes with you. Let them know you are feeling angry and frustrated and need their support.
Get on the floor in the room with your child and stretch for 5 minutes. Let that stretch time turn into play time with your child on the floor.
Write about it.
For some, writing in a journal can be a release. Keep a journal for your child to give to them when they are older, sharing with them your frustrations, as well as your love for them. I actually did this for all three of my kids and just recently gave my oldest daughter her journal because she is now expecting her first child. For me, writing about it helped calm me.
Take your child for a walk.
Remember that this walk is to calm you and help you reset your mind and emotions, so unless your child can keep up with you, put them in a stroller if they are too little to walk far.
If you have more suggestions, I’d love to hear them. These tips are from young parents I’ve worked with and from my own experience. If you struggle with keeping calm with your children, please schedule a free consultation here.
Organizer: Janis Meredith