Are you ready to transform your parenting? Do you feel that something needs to change before you resort to desperation in your parenting? Do you sometimes feel that you need some clear strategy to guide you?
Even if you are not feeling desperate, you may still be looking for tips and principles to help you be a more effective and less stressed parent.
Parents, you are builders. As you build your family and home, you must have a foundation. Houses not built on a foundation will not hold up.
What is the foundation for your home? If you’ve never really answered that question, I’d like to suggest four foundational principles to use in your daily parenting.
Focus on your parent/child relationship.
In order for you to lead your child towards becoming a mature adult and having a fulfilling life, you must start by establishing a strong relationship with them. Yes, rules and boundaries are important, but your child is more likely to listen and respond to your guidance if they have a good relationship with you. Remember the phrase: Rules minus Relationship equals Rebellion.
Your connection with your child is what help them to really hear what you say as you teach and guide them. That connection is built with time and intentionality and if you do not choose to focus on the relationship, it’s easy to let it neglected in the busy-ness of family life.
Establish family routines.
What family routines do you have? What are the memories your child will fondly remember and laugh about when they are grown? Routines will help you be intentional about spending time with your child, whether it’s a morning routine of breakfast and talking before school, a mealtime routine of highs and lows, greeting them with a hug after school, or reading at bedtime. These routines will strengthen the parent/child bond.
Those routines may change as your child gets older, but stay committed to keeping them in place, even when you feel that your teen is not receptive to them anymore. Keep fighting to work on that connection; don’t let their apathy fool you. They still desperately need to know that you love them and that you will not be put off by their eye rolls and irritated sighs or looks.
Give your child responsibilities.
Children who are given responsibilities by their parents develop the self-confidence that they can be successful in life. Obviously, one of your parenting goals is for your child to grow to be an independent adult and one way for you to help them do that is to let them learn responsibilities while you are there to guide them. Resist the urges to rescue, fix or interfere as your child learns and grows.
Set boundaries.
And here it is, the one thing that you may have thought should be the most important parenting principle. Yes, they are essential, but they must be balanced with the other three.
The challenge comes in how you present the boundaries to your child. Rules can actually be freeing. Your children can experience freedom within the rules. This gives them an opportunity to make responsible choices within the boundaries. When the parent/child bond is strong, having rules is not as much of an issue for a child because they feel loved and valued.
Let these four principles be the handles you grab onto as you raise your children. If you struggle with any aspect of parenting and would like some help. please schedule a free consultation here.